R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize