By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
