Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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