Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
