our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
