I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
