I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
