seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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