i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
