I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
