My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
