We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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