I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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