3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
It's Friday. Sex?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
