he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
