Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
