shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We left the knife in your bed.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
