i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
