We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
