is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
