I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The power of my boobs compel you
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
