There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
this boner is exhausting
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think your dad took our porno
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
