im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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