every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
