She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
