I just saw a hot homeless man
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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