party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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