Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
