I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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