Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
