dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
