So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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