hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
