fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
