Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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