It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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