ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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