I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize