Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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