do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
