I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
We got so high we made milksteak
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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