what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
