Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
