I want to stick my p in your. b.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
