Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
