i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
