Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
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