You smell like stripper and shame
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize