I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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