Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize