I think I am morally bankrupt
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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