so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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