I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
