that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
