Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
