Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
