Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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